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Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Discuss Philosophical or Psychological subjects and topics.

Re: Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Postby NinjaPuppy » 30 Jul 2012, 22:07

Scepcop wrote:Also, why does Murphy's Law seem to control the universe? It seems like the universe is always against you, giving you the opposite of what you want.

Murphy's Law does NOT control the Universe. Murphy's Law is nothing more than a theory that took on a life of it's own through different stages.

Scepcop wrote:For example:

- What you want the most is always the hardest to get, and what you want the least is the easiest to get.

I'm going to use this particular statement as the best example. WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST - For me, it's not a material thing. It's happiness. WHAT I WANT THE LEAST - Oh, I can't think of MANY things that fit into this category. None of them come easy either.

Scepcop wrote:- By the time someone becomes financially independent, they will have lost their youth, be over the hill and less attractive, so that they can't enjoy their freedom as much as if they were young.

And since when does "freedom" have anything to do with youth and beauty? Damn Winston, I'm probably the oldest hag on this forum and most definitely qualify for the Senior discount. It took me 50 years just to figure out some of the things that I wanted from life. It may take me another 50 to experience them all. If I don't get to experience everything, then I'm happy with knowing that it's been one hell of a great ride.

Scepcop wrote:- Women don't want you unless you are already taken or attached. You are probably more likely to meet your soulmate when you are already married than when you are single.

OK, now this one I have a bit of insight from the other side of the coin. An 'attached' man is basically one of two things. He's either 'safe' or 'off limits'. Depending on the mindset of the woman, a 'safe' man is someone that you can be yourself with because he's supposedly not looking for anything other than friendship. The best relationships start off with a good, solid friendship so human nature can step in and cause attraction. An 'off limits' guy is the same as the 'bad boy' attraction to a woman. It's a mind game thing and yeah, it's fun.... (until someone loses an eye) or a spouse or winds up in a dive motel at 3AM wondering WTF just happened.

I don't believe that we have one soulmate. I do believe that we meet plenty of people of the opposite sex that "seem" better than the last one or the current one. However, since it's drilled into our heads that multiple partners isn't proper, we're forced to pick just one and then we're supposed to stick with that person.

I've seen women rag on other woman because they're dating more than one guy. Like that's some big problem. Notice I said "dating". What is so wrong for a person to enjoy the company of someone of the opposite sex for mutual activities (dinner, dancing, etc) without some sort of commitment or future expectations? If a woman decides to have sex with more than one guy at a time, then they are thought to be 'less than' in most circles. It might make her a future health risk and death on a pair of stilettos but that's about it.

The rest of your questions are what I consider "real life getting in the way of your plans". Heavy traffic when you're late beats the hell out of a traffic accident. Important phone calls coming when you're not home is nothing more than poor planning or a cheap cell phone plan. In today's selection of electronic gadets, there is NEVER a reason to miss an important phone call. Great travel jobs? Is there even such a thing? Travel is only great when it's on your schedule and terms. What's so great about going to exotic places on the Company dime when you can't see the outside of the hotel because you're there on business and tied up in meetings? Even if you do take some free time to see the sights, you're not getting the full experience that you would if you were on vacation and your mindset won't be as relaxed.
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Re: Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Postby ProfWag » 31 Jul 2012, 09:27

Mr. Scepcop often uses a term called "naive realism" which contributes much to his posted ideas.
As for Murphy's Law specifically, I believe that much of it is contributed to "confirmation bias."
I was reading a book this morning while sitting on the toilet called "50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology" and one of the paragraphs mentions a term I had never heard of called the "great foretold table of life.' I believe this often contributes to Murphy's Law, but it's only an unresearched theory. I'll be happy to post information on it tomorrow, should anyone care, but for now, I have had one too many Sam Adams to care...
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Re: Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Postby fakelawnlawn » 18 Oct 2012, 15:30

The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you are.

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Re: Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Postby Arouet » 18 Oct 2012, 21:18

I'm sorry fakelawnlawn, but if you are using a properly calibrated fence, studies have shown that the grass is greener on the other side of the it. Perhaps you've been using the wrong kind of fence? You can't go for the cheap version - you need to make sure its high quality and government certified.
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Re: Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Postby woodwater » 17 Nov 2012, 23:56

[url][/url]No matter what topic of life we consider, each "side of the coin" usually has its pros and its cons.

We think the other side is greener because we see the cons on our own side much more clearly.
On our own side we can see plenty of snakes in the grass, while on the other side, watching from the distance, we see only beautiful grass and no snakes.
But once we get to the other side, we discover that the grass over there is equally full of snakes, at the most a different kind of snakes.

The smart person does not worry about the other side. Whatever side he finds himself, he tries to enjoy whatever is available on that side.
If he is alone, then he enjoys the goodies and the freedom that comes with being single. And if he is with a partner, then he enjoys the good things that come with relationship.
That's the rigth way of living... the "other side" will come sooner or later, so then you can enjoy that side.
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