so now , fresh from the restaurant at the end of the universe we have , ( Q -menacing music )-
so i have decide to try my hand at this profiting business and make a few predictions - well i cant do any worse than some others i could mention
so the great bretty predicts thus :
1. the film of 2012 will make a good deal of money and make a whole lot of people believe its all real and that you could actually pilot an overloaded light plane through all that lot
2. every weirdo ,end of the world er, whack job , alleged expert, and seer is ( or already has ) writing a bestseller on the subject - and they will make a few bob from all this
3. psychiatrists , psychologists, psychologists , mind meddlers and shrinks , will be overworked in the run up to 2012 - as hoards of alarmed people swept up in a tide of media hype rush to get counselling
4. you will soon get flooded with emails offering "solutions" to your 2012 problems , and like YK2 there will be a computer bug that needs fixing at great expense
5.the end of the world will ONLY happen in the USA as all disasters always happen in the USA - Hollywood says so - the rest of us will just have to manage some how
6. nearer the time a new "survivalist" culture will emerge - wall mart will be stripped of everything , and there will be mass hoarding of supplies
7. many people will not bother sending Christmas cards - well whats the point as its all gonna end on the 21-12-12 ?? - many card makers will declare record losses
8. the CT brigade will blame everyone , bush ,the Illuminati, the church , religion, the English ladies cricket team , the Freemasons , etc etc
9. the "great bretty" will get his own TV show - and will invite all you guys to appear and pontificate on the subject - and we will all make lots of money
10. lots of other people will make lots of money out of all the paranoia
11. team GB will sweep the board at the 2012 olympics
12 .and most importantly NOTHING WILL HAPPEN ON THE DAY , the end of the world will be delayed by the wrong type of leaves on the line , snow , adverse weather conditions , lack of funding ,an R in the month . or some other excuse - leaving everyone looking very silly and awaiting the NEXT end of the world
( please cut out and keep these predictions - pin them to your fridge door )
but seriously , the biggest thing to fear is all the hype - a lot of paranoid people will get very panicky around this time ( just as they did around the millennium ) - and will be a far bigger danger to the rest of us than any supposed mayan doomsday scenario - but never mind folks - a fleet of flying saucers is as we speak en rout to earth to collect the "chosen ones " and whisk them to safety
- and only the good and righteous will be saved , leaving the rest of us to our DOOM !! SO SAYS THE GREAT BRETTY - soothsayer, profit, seer of things to come , and pontificator on all subjects , guaranteed 100% accurate or your money back , available on a premium rate phone line at 10 dollars a Minuit , and available for personal appearances at your local mall
- book now to avoid disappointment !! the clocks ticking peeps
and if any of you can do better ( in the old prediction line ) step right up
