Brilliant essay about why high school is cruel to nerds

[Scepcop]

[NinjaPuppy]

Very good article.

Back in the day I had a job at the age of 14 and got out of early to go to my job. This was done by the school arranging my schedule to exclude the worthless 'study period' which was a class period of absolutely nothing and putting me on the late lunch schedule that I was not required to attend.

I was working as a dental assistant, 5 hours a day, 3 days a week and 8 hours on Saturday. I never bothered to apply for 'working papers' either.

[brett]

yep a very insightful article - i guess those of us who dropped out of the "rat race " at a young age will appreciate it more - in my case at 15 i left school and started work in the adult world ( boy a sharp learning curve ) - guess i must have been a "nerd " or a freak ?? - dunno - never fitted in ( mainly because of health problems when young ) - so went my own way - ignored as much as possible all the "cliques " and groups - and pursued my own interests - and of course was considered "weird " by many ( so what changes ?? ) - and adult life is a reflection of school - still the same bullies - still the same girls and guys who thought oh so much of them selves and still the same idiots who put material things above all else

nothing really changes - we just get older - but any wiser ?? - ah well there in lies the rub

[Scepcop]

Did anyone else here get bullied in high school?

I did majorly. It affected and scarred my psyche and sense of self worth greatly. I wish I could go back and beat them all up and establish myself.

But I did not get good vibes at all from the whole high school atmosphere. It was dysfunctional beyond words, the very air of high school made you feel insecure about yourself, totally undermining your self-confidence and self-esteem. There was a strong persecutory vibe. And the whole culture was fake. I had no idea how to fit into it, hence I had no alliances to protect myself from bullies. Hence, I never had any fun or good times in high school, not the kind you see in the movies with all the parties and all. As a result, it made me feel inadequate for many years.

But back then at least I felt young and innocent. And I miss that feeling. Having a crush on someone, puppy dog love, the butterflies in your stomach, all gave me a sense of vulnerability that I no longer have with my hardened heart. All that made you feel alive in a way that you don't as adults living in a coldly practical world that's all about money.

Adult world does not reflect high school, so I don't agree with that. Most people are busy with their lives, their jobs and families and do not bully or persecute you. It's just a few losers on the internet who do the bullying, but they can't hurt you in cyberspace. It's all words.

There is a saying that as you get older, your heart hardens. It does seem to. You no longer experience pain as intensely. But sometimes such pain makes you feel more "alive" so to speak. We have to work to keep the magic alive in our lives.

[Eteponge]

The funny thing is, after high school is over, all of the jocks, cheerleaders, and such who were on top in high school, their glory days are over when high school ends. The dumb jocks (unless they move into professional sports) generally don't have the smarts to get a good college degree to get a decent job. The cheerleaders are generally not the sharpest tools in the shed, so same with them. This is where the nerds surpass them all, in college. Hahaha. That's where the culture is flip-flopped. Where smarts is what counts over popularity and brawn.

That movie "Just Friends" (from 2005) actually zeroed in on it quite well. The high school football jock character, who tormented the nerdy main character in high school, 10 years later is overweight, balding, a drunk, and still wearing his high school jock jacket dreaming of his glory days, with nothing past high school to show for it, while the nerd actually made something of his life.

[brett]

good film that - with a message for those who can see - have to agree with you , we did not have the jocks and cheerleaders in school in my day - but of course we did have the ones who where going to be airline pilots ( and ended up as anything but ) and the little miss popular who thought oh so much of themselves and are now fat and have a gaggle of brats and a failed marriage

me i never set my sights too high - i wanted to learn a trade - which i did and has served me well , and i always remember those who mocked me for not making enough of myself by not taking exams etc , having a very embarrassed look on their faces when they walked into the job center where i was doing alterations some time later ( me having a job and them not , and in some cases never did funnily enough )

and although i don't have the "trappings " of success that sooooo many value as important these days - , at last i have the quiet satisfaction of what i have achieved - i have done so under my own steam and my own labour - not by climbing on the backs of others

i bet if one gos to some of these school reunions - there are a few quiet snickers going on when those who got put down by the high and mighty ,get to see just how high and mighty the majority actually end up

what is it they say " be careful who you piss on on the way up - as they may just take great delight in crapping on you when you are on the way back down "

[Twain Shakespeare]

[NinjaPuppy]

[SydneyPSIder]

Just adding to this bumped thread, though, I think there is some more socio-historical light to be thrown on compulsory schooling, 'Lord of the Flies' outcomes, etc.

Before around 1880, most people received very rudimentary tuition in reading and writing, or none at all. Only the relatively affluent received a great deal of tuition in their formative years largely by private tutoring methods, or by attending boarding schools, etc, and a few went on to the universities. In working class households, younger children made themselves useful around the house to some extent and teenagers were put to work either in family businesses, farms or in apprenticeships as early as the age of 12. Child labour in general was common and accepted in the interests of helping the household, earning another income, etc. Laws and social attitudes changed around child labour in the middle of the 18th century as industrialisation was getting underway. In around 1880, at least in the UK and Australia, and most likely the US and much of Europe simultaneously, it was held in public policy that basic literacy and numeracy were now an essential part of living in society, clearly as technology etc picked up in leaps and bounds. The way to do this was to enforce mandatory schooling for some years, although perhaps only to what is now Year 7 level as a minimum. The extension of schooling and effective helplessness into adolescence and early adulthood came later.

This late Victorian era was seen as the great 'age of institutionalisation' -- the creation of schools, hospitals, factories, prisons -- as also named by the OP -- and other organising structures on a large and systematic scale.

Many working class parents resented this public policy initiative at the time, in around 1880, and were concerned for bullying, losing their children from home who were useful and contributed to household income, etc, and where they could keep a watchful eye over them and remonstrate with them as necessary. As noted in the OP and other remarks, schools barely achieve their basic literacy and numeracy goals for the working class even today -- although that is all they really were ever intended to do, to enable adult participation in a more information-oriented and technical society -- and the economically efficient high student:teacher ratios allow for low levels of supervision, bullying practices, formation of Lord of the Flies patterns and cliques, and so on. Child development and psychology awareness should of course also play a part in managing a large number of unrelated children responsibly. The formation of cliques and bullying cliques in particular might be anticipated given a low level of adult supervision to separate or control certain children and adolescents. Modern society has fragmented and individualised people at home also, with sprawling suburbia further contributing to a sense of isolation and need to belong to a defining group when drawn together for institutional reasons.

Naturally distracting kids with sports and other physical activities they like is also used to try to keep them under control (apart from the benefits of lifelong physical activity). The curriculum content really doesn't matter as long as basic literacy and numeracy is achieved for most. Higher performers will naturally go on to get better marks, have a more enriched curriculum, and eventually go to college or university. They are more likely to take an interest in learning for its own sake, and explore intellectual areas of interest outside of their immediate jobs.

A 'rights based' approach appealing to reason -- which children possess at least to some extent, and can over-ride their other emotions as a kind of cognitive-behavioural approach -- can also work well to reduce bullying, by emphasising respect for others, observing 'the golden rule', and so on. Schools that have instituted such a framework have reported good results. Probably not enough of this is done, and it is not widespread or enshrined in the system either.

All the foregoing goes some way to explaining the observations of the OP quotation above. Not as well written as for my PhD thesis, but there you have it. The only way around the problems is possibly streaming of students of different abilities into different classes and even into different schools -- which is where the private schools for the very rich originally came into play -- and in fact were originally the only real schools.

[NinjaPuppy]

That quote is sooooo true!

[SydneyPSIder]

H L Mencken composed a lot of quotable quotes, that certainly may be one of his. However, in the context of the purpose of schools at a bare minimum teaching basic literacy and numeracy to the masses to facilitate their participation in an information society as adults, which was really their major aim from the outset, I suppose they have succeeded. The irony is that 90% of jobs even today probably only need a Year 7 level of literacy and numeracy, when you think about it. The rest you pick up as you mature anyway, i.e. adult language skills and so on. You don't need calculus to get on with your life, just the ability to add, subtract and multiply numbers. Everything after Year 7 is pretty much just 'enrichment', which doesn't hurt if it's done properly. Kids can only understand so much anyway.

[Carriebennett]

Thanks for sharing here essay about why high school is cruel to nerds. Since I am work with at Artistic Resume Help. Students work full-time at existence popular though they do not do it knowingly. Nerds don't understand this. They have other important things to worry about. Other students focus their whole energy on just being popular and thus beat nerds effortlessly.