The answer again is no, no, no. Thermally released electrons in a conductor do not follow this notion of yours.
What you are saying is true unless quantum effects are the primary effect.
Let me quote the wikipedia
In statistical mechanics, Maxwell–Boltzmann statistics describes the statistical distribution of material particles over various energy states in thermal equilibrium, when the temperature is high enough and density is low enough to render quantum effects negligible.
So a piece of metal such as a car body has free electrons which are due to thermal excitations, then these electrons do not behave according to this law.
Scimitars were not available - beware January 19, 2038 is upon us.