SCEPCOP Forum

As some of you may have figured out by now, my belief in God is, well, kinda lacking. But one of my favorite trivia questions for believers in the Old Testament is simply to ask: What are the Ten Commandments? Quite fun actually, especially in the King James Version. Does anyone know what they are? I'll answer in a couple days if anyone out there seems to care...

OK, I had to Google. Obviously my version is not the same order as the Old Testament version. The message is the same per commandment but the wording is really different. I learned them with 'thee' and 'thou' thrown into them.

Now can you name all of the 7 dwarfs?

Now if you care to debate The Top Ten, I always had a problem with #3 since different religions observe on different days of the week. Not to mention, I don't see anything about fish (no meat) on Friday or anything about 'fast days' in those commandments, yet I'm obviously going to hell in a picnic basket because mom always packed me a salami sandwich on Friday. Did you know that nuns have a wicked sense of smell? They can root out a salami sandwich faster than a bloodhound on a racoon.

I know that the salami sammich persecution was a direct violation of #10. They were just jealous and coveting my lunch. I guess I'll be seeing them in hell over a dumb sammich. Is there no extra credit for PB & J days, Monday-Thursday?

Well doggone it Ninja, I thought you were on the right track with the Ten Commandments, but I believe you are off a bit. You see there were actually 2 sets of the Ten Commandments (three if you count different versions of the same list). However Moses, Mel Brooks, or some other bearded dude dropped the first set and they smashed into pieces. It was these that were smashed into pieces that bore the "don't kill," the "don't covet thy neighbors naked wife," and "don't say goddamit." So, God got pissed and made Charlton Heston go carve out 2 new stones which took him 40 days and he got hungry. It is these stones that bear the Ten Commandments and if the Ark of the Covenant were to ever be found, it would be these new stones that one would find inside, much to the surprise of about 6 billion people, I would suppose. In any event, it is this actual list of the Ten Commandments that I was wondering if anyone knew. In addition to that list, at the end of it, God actually calls them the "Ten Commandments" and is the only place in that little black book those words are found. I'll post the list tomorrow, but be prepared, it's quite different than what is taught in Sunday school.

What Sunday school? #3 states that NO ONE is to work on Sunday and that includes the clergy and their minions.

I'm not surprised to here that there are multiple lists and that they do not match. There are apparently many discrepancies int he bible.

One of my favorites of all time!

Gotta love him! Mel Brooks has an outlook on life, like no other.