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The Top Ten

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The Top Ten

Postby ProfWag » 17 Nov 2009, 03:52

As some of you may have figured out by now, my belief in God is, well, kinda lacking. But one of my favorite trivia questions for believers in the Old Testament is simply to ask: What are the Ten Commandments? Quite fun actually, especially in the King James Version. Does anyone know what they are? I'll answer in a couple days if anyone out there seems to care...
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 04:04

ProfWag wrote:As some of you may have figured out by now, my belief in God is, well, kinda lacking. But one of my favorite trivia questions for believers in the Old Testament is simply to ask: What are the Ten Commandments? Quite fun actually, especially in the King James Version. Does anyone know what they are? I'll answer in a couple days if anyone out there seems to care...

If I can't quote these verbatim, I'm getting old and senile.

Here goes from memory-

LOL.... I am old and senile. I can't remember #2 or #10 without having to think and I'm not sure about the order of 8 & 9.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 04:08

OK, I had to Google. Obviously my version is not the same order as the Old Testament version. The message is the same per commandment but the wording is really different. I learned them with 'thee' and 'thou' thrown into them.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 04:11

Now can you name all of the 7 dwarfs?
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby ProfWag » 17 Nov 2009, 05:18

NinjaPuppy wrote:OK, I had to Google. Obviously my version is not the same order as the Old Testament version. The message is the same per commandment but the wording is really different. I learned them with 'thee' and 'thou' thrown into them.

What did Google say the Top Ten were?
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 05:50

ProfWag wrote:
NinjaPuppy wrote:OK, I had to Google. Obviously my version is not the same order as the Old Testament version. The message is the same per commandment but the wording is really different. I learned them with 'thee' and 'thou' thrown into them.

What did Google say the Top Ten were?

As usual, Google sent me to Wikipedia and here's the page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments

A scroll down the page has a close interpretation of what I was taught.
    Christianity
    Main article: Catholic doctrine regarding the Ten Commandments

I didn't write them out in my OP, so that other members could play along.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 05:59

Now if you care to debate The Top Ten, I always had a problem with #3 since different religions observe on different days of the week. Not to mention, I don't see anything about fish (no meat) on Friday or anything about 'fast days' in those commandments, yet I'm obviously going to hell in a picnic basket because mom always packed me a salami sandwich on Friday. Did you know that nuns have a wicked sense of smell? They can root out a salami sandwich faster than a bloodhound on a racoon.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 06:02

I know that the salami sammich persecution was a direct violation of #10. They were just jealous and coveting my lunch. I guess I'll be seeing them in hell over a dumb sammich. Is there no extra credit for PB & J days, Monday-Thursday?
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby ProfWag » 17 Nov 2009, 06:31

Well doggone it Ninja, I thought you were on the right track with the Ten Commandments, but I believe you are off a bit. You see there were actually 2 sets of the Ten Commandments (three if you count different versions of the same list). However Moses, Mel Brooks, or some other bearded dude dropped the first set and they smashed into pieces. It was these that were smashed into pieces that bore the "don't kill," the "don't covet thy neighbors naked wife," and "don't say goddamit." So, God got pissed and made Charlton Heston go carve out 2 new stones which took him 40 days and he got hungry. It is these stones that bear the Ten Commandments and if the Ark of the Covenant were to ever be found, it would be these new stones that one would find inside, much to the surprise of about 6 billion people, I would suppose. In any event, it is this actual list of the Ten Commandments that I was wondering if anyone knew. In addition to that list, at the end of it, God actually calls them the "Ten Commandments" and is the only place in that little black book those words are found. I'll post the list tomorrow, but be prepared, it's quite different than what is taught in Sunday school.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 06:52

What Sunday school? #3 states that NO ONE is to work on Sunday and that includes the clergy and their minions.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby ProfWag » 17 Nov 2009, 08:50

NinjaPuppy wrote:What Sunday school? #3 states that NO ONE is to work on Sunday and that includes the clergy and their minions.

Ahh, but #3 (from the King James Version) is actually: Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby Nostradamus » 17 Nov 2009, 10:52

I'm not surprised to here that there are multiple lists and that they do not match. There are apparently many discrepancies int he bible.
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 20:03

Nostradamus wrote:I'm not surprised to here that there are multiple lists and that they do not match. There are apparently many discrepancies int he bible.

Yes, it can be a confusing bit of literature. You have the Old Testament, the New Testament, the King James Version to name a few and then there is the Apocrypha.

Of course, this YouTube video explains it best:
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby ProfWag » 17 Nov 2009, 20:27

One of my favorites of all time!
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Re: The Top Ten

Postby NinjaPuppy » 17 Nov 2009, 21:31

Gotta love him! Mel Brooks has an outlook on life, like no other.
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